Beginnings

Welcome to my very first blog and my very first blog post. This is a new beginning for me as I set out on my journey to live fully and freely in the essence of my innermost and most authentic self. It was more than a year ago that I was called to share my realizations, thoughts and scribblings….I love to write, inspire and love but fear has been my folly and this blog is my facing that fear in the face and saying NO! I choose to Share, Inspire, Write, Shine and Love and the fears cast in me by people and events designed to hide my light will have to sit in the back seat with the rest of my ego because starting today my Innermost is driving this flesh.

Tomorrow I will begin posting articles and pieces that I’ve written and as I build my knowledge of exactly how this blogging thing works. As things progress I plan to construct bridges of peace, compassion, unity and love– a vision that I share with so many others ; A Crystalline Vision of Unconditional Love and Unity. One step at a time.

 I realize that often what I wish to convey is multifaceted, so, at times you will find that I post segments under the same title (Part1,2,3) I believe we are all quite busy and that learning, growing and awakening are overwhelming so I have a goal to honor your time as you give me the honor of your attention.

See you tomorrow with Part One of ,            “Just Love” ,  an entry I wrote when I discovered that I was so caught in cognitive dissonance and self preservation that I was living, acting and living outside of who I truly am and contrary to my intentions. 

Perceiving Love 

Crystalline intentions become lovely perceptions of where to see love as we look at this world. 

Love is the essence of air 

The birds and bees 

The flowers and trees 

In every creature great and small 

Love is All! 
Love is the foundation  

For all of humanity 

The core of you 

Me 

Him  

Her 

We. 

Love is boundless, endless, borderless, infinite truth. 

Me=We=Only Reality= LOVE
Crystal Lynn Rossi 🦄❤️🌏✌️

Just Love 

Part 4 of 4 

I once had a teacher that taught her classes that “what if died”.  It was her rule, her  response to every imaginative inquiry.  To her it was reality, a way of keeping adolescent minds from leaving the facts and thinking in their natural state of creative curiosity ;   it seemed to result in the containing minds,  neatly kept the cage of the curriculum at hand.   While I completely understand her motive and her responsibility as an educator to teach only the facts…. I never did agree with the rule.  I always felt the idea ,  made of words,  words with the power to create beliefs and perceptions– had the power to imprison imagination, shun creativity and halt creation.  

“What if”,  never dies!  The question lives  in each mind most likely every day.   What matters is how we respond to what if  when it scurries around in our minds.  The answers we accept  create our perceptions and reactions to our life experiences and can even cause us to completely miss out on life if we become afraid enough. 

 
I think that maybe the “what if’s” we ask ourselves contain revelations about what we actually believe about ourselves.  They are keys that open doors to healing for our self image.  

For me, process goes something like this:       

I found myself thinking,  what  if I fail?  I realized I was afraid to fail.  I then asked myself why I was afraid to fail?  I uncovered memories of times others told me that I couldn’t succeed;                                 Because I was a girl,  I was too broken, misfit, too weird, too honest, too impure, too good, not good enough etc…. I threw that all away.   None of that is true nor was any of it said for my best interest.                      Then I asked myself why I thought failing was so bad?  I uncovered memories of failing and being teased and others failing and being mocked.   So, I corrected my perception because the problem was never failure,  the problem was  really just that sometimes people are mean and mean people cause us to fear people like them.  Bullies like that kind of fear .  I didn’t and do not  want to live in the fear produced by mean people.  So I won’t. 

Instead of living in fear I  decided to heal my perception and self talk.  I changed the answers to my ” what if” questions…

What if I fail?  

I will be fine if I fail, it’s better to try and fail than do nothing at all. 
The same thing applies to our fears about love. 

What if he/she is lying?  You will handle that if it happens, not all people lie all of the time and any liar from our past shouldn’t be dictating our present relations.  You will be fine if they lie because you’re aware it’s possible but to worry about it will cause you to withhold love and it would be unfair to withhold love from someone who may not be lying .  You have a pretty good record of recovering after disappointment and you can trust yourself to recover again but there is no benefit to doubting someone who has never hurt you. 

What if you open up and let someone in and they hurt you?  Well…. what if they don’t?  What if you hurt them by withholding love and you end up the problem this time?  You’ve been hurt before!  What if you miss the chance of a lifetime because you fear it isn’t the chance of a lifetime?  Trust yourself, trust your gut!  No human being can promise us that they will be alive in five minutes let alone that they won’t ever hurt us.  

What if they don’t  love me back the way that I show them that I love  them?          Then you will ask them how they need to receive love and tell them how you receive love and things could get really good from there or they will end because the conversation reveals incompatibility .  That doesn’t mean you don’t love them or they you, it just means you love each other enough to let go so each person can be fulfilled.  

You can’t magically guarantee yourself peace by fearing war! 

You cannot receive love in ways you are afraid to give love either! 

You can trust yourself,  love yourself and love others the way you wish to be loved and you can  be responsible for how well you love . In the end that’s all that we control, ourselves .  Our love , our  behavior and our own willingness to love others as if we have never been hurt before is all that we can even attempt to manage .

  Crystalline Energy is said to be the energy that unlocks awareness of unconditional love .  The awareness comes from learning how to look beyond our broken hearts,  removing the fear from our actions so that we love others without assumptions and hesitancy.  Answer each what if with only love.  Just Love . 

What if they don’t love you too?                             Just love them!

What if it doesn’t work out?                             Just Love , if it don’t last you’ll have had a learning experience. 

Don’t Worry or be Afraid, it’s just Love. 

There’s nothing you control outside of you so;  JUST LOVE. 

Peace and Love to You. 

~Crystal Lynn 

Just Love 

Part 3 of 4 
Unconditional Love starts with undivided attention to ourselves. To truly love ourselves is to know ourselves thoroughly; its a cleansing of  our hearts and minds of any thoughts or  behaviors rooted in lies or unneeded defense mechanisms.   Facing all fear that  is causing us to act in ways that aren’t aligned with our higher self.  

To be who we truly are, to know what we need – in order have any idea what we want and to get to the place where we are willing to give what want for ourselves to others. 

An amazing thing happens when  we begin to know, love, nurture and accept our innermost;  we begin to have clearer spiritual eyes .  It’s like a return to childhood , the world and the people in it start springing back to life in the absence of fear . It’s beautiful !

All this talk of introspection and self observation sounds miserable! At first it really is quite terrible. Like being pressed but not crushed…. like a diamond is the birth of our higher selves. 

It’s best to start  by choosing to accept and believe that it’s perfectly okay to find things within ourselves that we realize are ugly,  cowardly,  mean or fearful.  Commit  to offering  yourself compassion and love through the process.  No shame needed because being brave enough to face ourselves and admit where we need work and sometimes help and actually do it …well , that’s the person you should be focused on getting to , the brave  one, the real you .  

Another thing that arises through this is realizing that someone or something else planted things in our hearts and minds that led us to false beliefs or fearful ways.  It’s best to know that  this doesn’t mean you have to be angry at them and seek vengeance.  That’s contrary to the healing .  Try to remember that people only project issues they have within themselves anyways.  An option of what to do with the anger  instead to choose to realize the pain that planted fear in you must also exist in them .  You can and sometimes should choose to honor and protect yourself with distance from people that hurt you but hold love them in your heart  and offer them compassionate prayers that someday they will awaken to themselves.                                      

It is an adventure to work on self;   it’s noble and honorable because as we heal ourselves we are becoming powerful  instruments of peace and love!  We will be able to appreciate and support the people in our lives far better if we know how good it feels to be unconditionally loved by ourselves!  

We want love so we have to Be Love!

Sure it’s hard … but it’s worth it. 

You are worth it! 
Through the process you will need tools and help and  that is  completely normal. Getting help is healthy.  Needing support is human!  Going to a counselor is a sign that you care about yourself and the people around you!!!!  Never be afraid to ask for help! 

Oh, and don’t be surprised if strangers end up being more supportive than you family and friends.  That’s normal too.  (Maybe I should write about why it’s normal , hmmm) 

You can send me a message if you need ideas or a little direction aside from what I list.  I have a page on  facebook https://m.facebook.com/crystallineperspectives/ , if enough people message me Id be happy to start a group too. I’ve made soul friends all over the world on my journey . There are ways to get through the soul work 

If things get really hard you have to have an emotional self care kit!  You truly Must! 
Look up :

Dialectical Behavioral therapy 

Meditation 

Prayer

Sleep hypnosis 

Yoga

Positive Affirmations

Join a Group online

Hike, camp, sit on a porch …. just spend time in nature 

Write a list of healthy foods that you love!

Love yourself!                                                  Do the things you loved as a kid!             Color, blow bubbles, make mud pies!    Enjoy your life , being imperfect doesn’t mean you don’t deserve joy! 

Thanks for reading. 
This weekend I will round up “Just Love” ; but not really;  Just Love is sort of the whole point… forever ! 

Just Love

Part 2 of 4

 

I’ve been lied to, cheated on,  put down, knocked around, ripped off, put off, disregarded and treated with many unloving behaviors from the people who told me they loved me. I’ve learned that people don’t always walk the walk they like to talk, not always personally,  but also by the experiences of others.  These lessons were the creators of my fears, expectations and assumptions as I moved through life.  I often hear people saying (or see them posting) about they are walking away from the past yet can see them (and have seen myself) carrying the negativity like they are fashionable shackles.  Fashionable because most of us believe we are reasonably entitled to apply our lessons learned to each new moment of life, regardless of what it causes for others and it seems acceptable to openly talk about what “THEY ” taught us,  how “THEY” changed us and how it is all “THEIR”  fault.  I found myself wondering if maybe some other people are a lot like me and don’t even realize that we have allowed these lessons to create new beliefs that  our  contradict our deepest beliefs ?

 I started to realize that I had contradictions  after I asked myself how often  what I think , say or  believe and act- are  rooted in fear and not love? It was quite often so I followed up the answers with why’s?  Why would I say that I walked away from my past yet my past is right here with me at times, shaping my new experiences? One thing  I learned along the way was that I have cognitive dissonance ; that sometimes I contradict my own beliefs with my outward behavior and its a nothing but a hindrance to love.
For example, look at this every day socially acceptable scenario:
Friend1 : “How have you been” ?

Friend 2: “Fine ”!

Friend 2’s Internal Dialogue:                        I’m actually barely surviving,  heartbroken,  I have insomnia and Im trying to be grateful that I can at least afford noodles even though my poor nutrition is only adding to my feeling exhausted and causing additional health problems.

I think we all have or do participate in that example.
Now, I fully believe I am an honest person yet I was lying regularly because I have been taught that it’s expected of me.  I have learned that people do not Really care to know “how I am”, when they ask me this question.  I am programmed to assume that “how are you”  is really just a common courtesy.   So , on one hand I believe that anything other than the staple, “I’m fine, great, dandy, okay or fantastic ” is a response that will be ill received and is socially unacceptable while on the other I don’t believe that I lie.  So I abandon my oath to honesty every time I respond to the question dishonestly and tell myself that I am not guilty of lying because I have to…  “They” make me .  I tell myself it’s okay because at least when I ask someone the question they don’t actually have to lie to me because I actually do care how others are doing and I’m interested in their lives and what they might need or what they are experiencing.  I scapegoat “them” and avoid accountability for behaving contrary to what I believe is right. 

Cognitive dissonance plays a huge role in creating my perspectives and my behavior regularly.  Do you have any cognitive dissonance going on in more serious ways? 
Here is another one (more serious) that I fell into and see others falling  into regularly:
I believe I am worthy of love,

I believe that love is kind, attentive, honest, reliable and feels good to receive.

I say I am worthy of love yet I repeatedly submit my trust to others who ignore me, lie to me and hurt me in the same unloving ways repeatedly.

I’m trapped!  Trapped by believing that they HAVE to love me because they say they love me. I don’t feel the love that  I believe I am worthy of coming from that person’s actions, yet, I keep saying I am worthy of love.  I will try 50 shades of everything to get the point across  that I expect to be treated well  while I actively stay planted in relation with someone who hurts me, sometimes   chasing, begging or  even demanding that the speakers of, “I love you”  act as if they love me .  I’m not seeing that my own statements that I am worthy are contradicting me as I consistently show them that I will accept just the words with contrary actions over and over again. When will I realize that I am not walking the walk that I talk and ask myself why? 

Please ask yourself how you responded to the question, “how are you”? ,  prior to being met with invalidation, judgement, rejection or some other negative response or someone teaching  you that it’s unacceptable to spill your beans?
How often are the behaviors of the people that harmed you altering how you interact with everyone in the world around you? How are past pains controlling what you believe about yourself?  Do you say that you are okay even when you are not? I’m not suggesting that beat yourself up about it , just that you locate it.

You see, I realizied that I hadnt just “learned” lessons the hard way but that my responses to the lessons didn’t produce behaviors  that were for the best interest of myself or people in my future;  I recognized that the lessons taught by those who harmed me were altering my morality and self image;   that I was using past experiences as excuses for present behaviors– as a scapegoat to excuse my unwillingness to be wholeheartedly invested in giving new people the same kind of chances I gave people in the past.

I concluded that every time I react based on an assumption formed by someone who taught me anything contrary to love I was handing my past a place in my present. It’s not as if it was loving to teach  me that others don’t truly care how I am when they ask! It’s not as if I am being a bad person by answering honestly so long as I  do it lovingly.  I’m only responsible to and for myself and I’m not able to believe that I am honest as I lie just because it’s acceptable any longer .  It’s a bullshit rule and I don’t have to adhere to it , especially since it’s causing me to lie to myself.
When I compassionately reviewed my daily life, I could see that my character and my new experiences were inundated with these types toxic thoughts –negativity toward myself and others, all rooted deeply in some fear created by traumas or the projections of someone who didn’t necessarily mean me well.  These inconsistencies in what I believe and what I do took years to learn and it will take time and  willingness to observe myself to find them.
I don’t want to live in fear where I used to be free.  My ability to love was/is often restrained by my perspectives which are tainted with the expectations, projections and opinions of others .   I don’t want to be loved hesitantly, yet,  I caught myself  excusing my own hesitancy and instead of giving of my love the way I would like to receive love.  That’s not fair to me or anyone else so … I will no longer be blaming my past for my fear to love.  Sure , it’s going to be scary but its my responsibility to be free from my past and my past doesn’t deserve to steal my joy, hope and chances at love today.  My past should not  be stealing love  from the people currently in my life or that I will meet.  I’m learning how to be free. 

Freedom from cognitive dissonance requires we locate the roots growing deep within our psyche and that we investigate to see if these roots are attached to a dead tree.  Are our pasts currently producing poisonous fruit in our present? 

 Each  of us have our own experiences that planted seeds within our hearts and minds. I cannot honestly tell you that what I personally realized about myself is true for you.  I can only tell you that if you find the roots of your own fears and address the manifestation of them that you will reap what lies on the other side of fear.  You will begin to create your own reality instead of living in the reality painted by those who have hurt you.  I CAN tell you that it’s really beautiful on the other side of fear and I can give you some tools that helped me overcome my fears about conquering my fears.   Most importantly , I can tell you that the opposite of fear is “JUST LOVE” .

Part 3 will give you some ideas about what to do to stop letting the past dictate your present because I know how scary vulnerability looks . 

Just Love

Introspection

Part 1  of  4 

Crystalline Perspectives,  (eye of Unconditional Love),  is my way of sharing what I have learned thus far on my personal journey of unlearning;  undoing everything that was causing me to live from the perspective of fear.   Our perceptions are powerful and easily manipulated systems of belief,  beliefs about ourselves and others made up of both personal experiences and projected information.  The moment we are born, we begin the process of developing our perceptions and depending on who is guiding us,  what they personally experienced becomes our teacher and what we personally experience is molded by what our teachers were taught etc… etc…

I remember the day I got plain sick and tired of believing in my usual perceptions; I had for the zillionth time ignored my intuition, clung to how things should be, held on to what I should be and allowed myself to be disrespected, mistreated, violated and humiliated so many times that I could not even pretend that anything,  or anyone,  (other than the Holy Spirit which is what I call the indwelling of God in me),   had ever planted a seed within my mind that produced fruit.   NOPE, just a bunch of weeds and snares that I ended up begging to be saved from.  I had prayed for Gods eyes to see others,  Gods heart to love and understand them , Gods compassion to forgive them and there I lay curled up in a ball, terrified of the destruction caused by my loving anything or anyone.   I had not yet realized that the pain I was feeling was actually evidence that some of my prayers had been answered,  that I was seeing others for their souls but not comprehending that people are so at war within themselves that they often do not even realize their higher self exists!

I had forgotten to ask for a most important gift!  Discernment.   So I asked … and the first thing that  I realize… was that I had been perceiving myself and others from eyes  veiled with expectations and beliefs created  the projections and instructions of imperfect and often ill intentioned human beings. 

Then I heard my innermost say to me, (its my voice , I don’t have a party in my head)…. “Crystal you stick to unconditional love but as for everything else, you have a lot of unlearning to do and the undoing is going to require that you are introspective and willing to locate the roots of your perceptions”.   So I stepped off the path of believing that I understood anything, realized I didn’t even understand myself entirely and stepped onto the path of Unlearning.  Step One tools were just  Unconditional Love and instructions to seek to understand myself and all others before I sought to be understood; I had only  one mantra, “JUST LOVE”.

Here are some questions I had to ask myself as I  located the sources of my perceptions, (because my perceptions had become my master):

  • How many of my perceptions contain information that is not healthy when approaching new relationships and  decisions?
  • Are some of my  core beliefs actually contradictions that are preventing me  from expressing love and causing me to act contrary to who I believe I am?
  • How much of what I believe about myself and about others is derived from fear, or maybe, even a lie projected into my psyche by someone who was unwittingly lying to themselves?
  • Are my thoughts, words and actions based solely upon the things I was told to believe? 
  • Do I even recall being given a choice about some of what I believe? 
  • How much of my personal belief system was established during a traumatic period of my life? Which trauma created certain beliefs then?
  • Do I fully give of myself in love or do I operate from a mindset  self-preservation?

 

What about you?

Have you checked yourself to see if you are wearing a shit shield in attempt to protect yourself from experiencing a pain again?  Do you have walls instead of boundaries?  How  frequently might you be withholding the love you would want for yourself? 
 Are you possibly introverting instead of introspecting and by default;    avoiding the connections you deeply desire because of a false belief you have about yourself or
a heartbreaking  lesson you learned the hard way;  maybe you have some beliefs rooted in  what your mama, auntie, grammy, daddy or “that popular meme” always says? Do you operate from a place of fear or from the truth found in love?
 Its  not easy to dig into the truth about what has molded your mind.   The comfort of clinging to  defense mechanisms and perfectly understandable walls I had built was far easier than going deep within my mind, heart and soul and investigating my own responsibility to love both myself and other people.  I had to learn how to speak to myself with respect and to show myself kindness and compassion AND the hardest part of that was learning why I was so awful and cruel to myself in the first place! I didn’t treat anyone else in the world as terribly as I treated myself.   It was so much simpler to avoid the pain I have already known and just give up on love and people all together, but I couldn’t lie to myself…I do love the people and I could never lose the light and hope that I found WAITING  within myself, disguised as a light at the end of a tunnel, it’s who I am…
I am Love… Just that… everything that makes me feel separate from Love is contrary to my innermost, most natural being…anything outside of Love makes me homesick. 
Not just me….but you…. WE are LOVE,  and if we’d Just Love…  we would heal our perspectives.

 
~Crystal Lynn 🦄